If she flies across the country to surprise me on my birthday, I’ll know we really are best friends.
If he reaches out to me and shares the details of his challenges when times are tough and calls me to share his good news when things are going his way, I’ll know he really cares.
If only she would move in with me after my baby is born so I don’t have to do this mama thing alone, I’d know I really matter to my mother.
If he buys me that necklace I gushed about at the artisan shop, it proves he loves me.
If she calls me twice a week, even when she’s super busy, I’ll know I matter.
If he spends every night with me, even when he’s tired and wants to be alone, I’ll know I’m cherished.
If you’re like many of us, you play games with the ones you love, games that go something like this:
I don’t want to ask my mother to prioritize time with my kids. A good grandma should just want to.
If I ask him to [text me sweet nothings right after our date/spend the night/make me breakfast], it’s not the same as if he offers in an unsolicited way.
Even though I want it, I can’t ask my friend for that. It would be too much of an imposition.
But what if your husband doesn’t know how much you would appreciate such a thing? What if you’ve spent five years waiting for that moment to happen, and because it never has, you wind up resenting him?
Yes, it’s fabulous when your BFF surprises you with a grand gesture that proves how much she values you. But what if she wants to offer some grand gesture but just isn’t sure what grand gesture would float your boat?
If he reaches out to me and shares the details of his challenges when times are tough and calls me to share his good news when things are going his way, I’ll know he really cares.
If only she would move in with me after my baby is born so I don’t have to do this mama thing alone, I’d know I really matter to my mother.
If he buys me that necklace I gushed about at the artisan shop, it proves he loves me.
If she calls me twice a week, even when she’s super busy, I’ll know I matter.
If he spends every night with me, even when he’s tired and wants to be alone, I’ll know I’m cherished.
What Expectations Do You Have?
Most of us have hopes and expectations about how our friends and loved ones will behave, but how often do you actually communicate these wants and needs to those who might be happy to meet them?If you’re like many of us, you play games with the ones you love, games that go something like this:
Games People Play
I shouldn’t have to tell him what I want for Christmas. If he loves me, he should just know.I don’t want to ask my mother to prioritize time with my kids. A good grandma should just want to.
If I ask him to [text me sweet nothings right after our date/spend the night/make me breakfast], it’s not the same as if he offers in an unsolicited way.
Even though I want it, I can’t ask my friend for that. It would be too much of an imposition.
People Can’t Read Minds
I know it’s awesome when you desire something from someone, and they spontaneously anticipate and meet that desire. When you’re exhausted after a long day at work and arrive home to find that your husband has bathed the kids, prepared dinner, cleaned the dishes, and adorned the table with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, you feel so appreciated, understood, held.But what if your husband doesn’t know how much you would appreciate such a thing? What if you’ve spent five years waiting for that moment to happen, and because it never has, you wind up resenting him?
Yes, it’s fabulous when your BFF surprises you with a grand gesture that proves how much she values you. But what if she wants to offer some grand gesture but just isn’t sure what grand gesture would float your boat?
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