What is the fucking point?
Why mosquitoes?
Why headaches?
Why bad food so tastey?
Why mom guilt?
My most recent annoyance was with the mom guilt. I don't understand the point. I don't see what good it does. And if we all know it exist, why can't it be ignored? Ugh.
My kid.
She's cool.
Love her.
She's pretty much the only person I hang out with these days. She's less busy than most...
She's pretty funny company.
She can be demanding at times, but after a hard days work of scooting around toys, I'd demand an Oreo too.
Sometimes she lets me join in on the game her and the toys are playing, but she gets frustrated when I don't know the rules.
There are. SOME days. When momma needs a break. Not because she's being bad, or because I had a bad day, but because momma needs a break. It's me, myself, and I that takes care of her and my home while working full time. It's difficult. It's tiring. It can be draining. Sometimes it's nice to go home and do NOTHING. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. It used to happen often. Now-not so much.
Prechunk-I would go home and if there was nothing to do, I was "bored." All my peeps were busy with their kids or husbands...damn them, there's "nothing to do."
Bored? Nothing to do? These are foreign words to me.
I go home now and look around.....the water hose has to be moved to the other side of the house because the sonofabitch weighs 100 lbs, but first I have to finish painting that one piece over by the garage, but it's really not safe to paint until I pull the cracked tree branch down that's leaning over my truck, oh wait...are you hungry little girl, or thirsty, no ma'am don't put that in your mouth, stop that and come here so I can put bug spray on you, bug spray bug spray where is the bug spray, cat, get off the bug spray and your hungry too, thats right I needed to go to the store for food for all these mouths, dinner damn it, Ottis quit pissing on the kids chair, I should just paint everything yellow, paint paint oh yeah the garage.... where are those paint brushes anyway I put them right here but ...Lyric-get those damn brushes out of your mouth and for the 173 time, put the damn cat down.
For a task that used to take me 20 minutes, I now have to set aside at least 3 hours.
And sonofabitch if the kid doesn't want to eat again even though I just fed her....3 hours ago?!? How is it already so late? None of my chores are done, I still need food for mouths, and all I've gotten accomplished this afternoon was building that sweet ass sandcastle that ended up having a fucking cat turd in it.
That's when I have to remind myself to slow down, relax, take thing for what they are.
No-my chores are not done. Yes-my kid is eating spaghettios again. No-I'm not that worried about it because I think she filled up on sand earlier. And no-I am NOT going to check tosee if the cat turd is still there. I'm telling myself it is.
Boredom- no.
Nothing to do-fantasy.
Laughter-everyday.
Energy level-drained.
Back to the original mind thought-
I was offered my one day. I took my one day. I enjoyed my one day. I felt guilty about my one day.
My mom came, picked up the chunk, and took her home to play.
Me, myself, and I--we all laid down. WE did not move until morning. We relaxed. We saw if any other channel besides Disney still existed. I slept. And in the morning, I only got one person ready for the day. I needed that so bad. I wanted that. I missed my gal. But I know that in order for me to be a better parent, I need time to do and be nothing.
So why so guilty? What in the shit is that emotion good for?
By sitting my ass in one place for more than 4 hours, I was doing us both a favor.
You're welcome kid. You're welcome me. You're welcome tv. You're welcome achy muscles. You're welcome brain.
I think I hear someone yelling for me.
I have to go see who needs what wiped.
Why mosquitoes?
Why headaches?
Why bad food so tastey?
Why mom guilt?
My most recent annoyance was with the mom guilt. I don't understand the point. I don't see what good it does. And if we all know it exist, why can't it be ignored? Ugh.
My kid.
She's cool.
Love her.
She's pretty much the only person I hang out with these days. She's less busy than most...
She's pretty funny company.
She can be demanding at times, but after a hard days work of scooting around toys, I'd demand an Oreo too.
Sometimes she lets me join in on the game her and the toys are playing, but she gets frustrated when I don't know the rules.
There are. SOME days. When momma needs a break. Not because she's being bad, or because I had a bad day, but because momma needs a break. It's me, myself, and I that takes care of her and my home while working full time. It's difficult. It's tiring. It can be draining. Sometimes it's nice to go home and do NOTHING. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. It used to happen often. Now-not so much.
Prechunk-I would go home and if there was nothing to do, I was "bored." All my peeps were busy with their kids or husbands...damn them, there's "nothing to do."
Bored? Nothing to do? These are foreign words to me.
I go home now and look around.....the water hose has to be moved to the other side of the house because the sonofabitch weighs 100 lbs, but first I have to finish painting that one piece over by the garage, but it's really not safe to paint until I pull the cracked tree branch down that's leaning over my truck, oh wait...are you hungry little girl, or thirsty, no ma'am don't put that in your mouth, stop that and come here so I can put bug spray on you, bug spray bug spray where is the bug spray, cat, get off the bug spray and your hungry too, thats right I needed to go to the store for food for all these mouths, dinner damn it, Ottis quit pissing on the kids chair, I should just paint everything yellow, paint paint oh yeah the garage.... where are those paint brushes anyway I put them right here but ...Lyric-get those damn brushes out of your mouth and for the 173 time, put the damn cat down.
For a task that used to take me 20 minutes, I now have to set aside at least 3 hours.
And sonofabitch if the kid doesn't want to eat again even though I just fed her....3 hours ago?!? How is it already so late? None of my chores are done, I still need food for mouths, and all I've gotten accomplished this afternoon was building that sweet ass sandcastle that ended up having a fucking cat turd in it.
That's when I have to remind myself to slow down, relax, take thing for what they are.
No-my chores are not done. Yes-my kid is eating spaghettios again. No-I'm not that worried about it because I think she filled up on sand earlier. And no-I am NOT going to check tosee if the cat turd is still there. I'm telling myself it is.
Boredom- no.
Nothing to do-fantasy.
Laughter-everyday.
Energy level-drained.
Back to the original mind thought-
I was offered my one day. I took my one day. I enjoyed my one day. I felt guilty about my one day.
My mom came, picked up the chunk, and took her home to play.
Me, myself, and I--we all laid down. WE did not move until morning. We relaxed. We saw if any other channel besides Disney still existed. I slept. And in the morning, I only got one person ready for the day. I needed that so bad. I wanted that. I missed my gal. But I know that in order for me to be a better parent, I need time to do and be nothing.
So why so guilty? What in the shit is that emotion good for?
By sitting my ass in one place for more than 4 hours, I was doing us both a favor.
You're welcome kid. You're welcome me. You're welcome tv. You're welcome achy muscles. You're welcome brain.
I think I hear someone yelling for me.
I have to go see who needs what wiped.
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