Nonsense Sally

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on July 21, 2010

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A first sign of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die.

— Franz Kafka

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Respect

His remains are left behind in an unmarked grave. No headstone. No paper marker. No flowers. No more gifts from his little girl. An unmarked grave. One of which you could not find had you not know where it was. 26 years of life. Is 26 years not enough to merit a rock? A name plate? A fucking flower? He himself is not there, this I know. But I still find it disrespectful to leave his body unknown. My beautiful angel is left behind in an unmarked grave.

FAN CLUB

2012 has been a rough rough year so far. August has been the roughest month. Weekend of the 18th the most difficult to make it through. I have spent most of August scared in my own home, worried about my safety, and the safety of my unborn child. And now, I have people with true ugliness on the inside, concerned with me and taking time out of their days to come and write on my blog. The thought makes me laugh. Oh my gosh, let me go cry in a corner because some idiot found out how to use the internet and find my blog. Keep coming. You won't see me shed any worry over such childish stupidity. BLAH. I think my battles are far from over. But I am ready and willing to fight them head on. I found another broken person. Thought I could help. Thought I could love them happy, and AGAIN, I was proven wrong. You cannot heal the broken alone. I will pray. I will pray for the father. Every single day. I will pray for his healing and his happine...

PleaseExcuseMyRant.

HOW DARE YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH. I'VE TURNED MYSELF INSIDE OUT FOR YOU AND YOU'RE MAD AT ME BECAUSE I HAVE A NEW FRIEND?!?!? I LOVED YOU THROUGH ALL THE LIES. I LOVED YOU THROUGH THE SHITTY THINGS YOU SAID TO ME. I LOVED YOU THROUGH THE PAIN YOU CAUSED ME. I tell people you gave me my smile back. And you did. But at the same time, you turned me into a mush of pathetic, love hungry, lying, sad sack. I allowed you to get away with so much. You treated me so wrong. YOU'RE MARRIED YOU SORRY SON OF A BITCH. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I pray for you. All the time. I pray for your FAMILY. Show some respect for the mother of your child. I sinned enough. I spent years knowingly sinning-that makes it even worse. I haven't been with you in years. Why fuck with me now? Why the hurtful words? I prayed you away. I am over it and over you. I have asked for forgiveness. So what is so different now that you think you have the right to talk shit to me? I AM NOT TH...

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