When difficult times come into your life, while they are happening, it's the end of the world.
You see no light at the end of the tunnel. No end to your pain. No end to your tears.
Then one morning you get out of bed and you realize that you're not sad anymore. You're not hurting anymore. You're actually smiling a little.
You made it through to the other side and you ain't dead.
This year has been a pretty difficult year for me thus far.
Big changes. Small changes. New responsibilities. Huge lies. Privacy invasion. Promoted. Milestones with Chunk. Many pictures. Spy equipment. Major bullshit. Family vacation. Emotional abuse. Eye openers. Abandonment. And one bad stomach bug.
All of which I dealt with alone.
To the dad-I don't have enough testosterone in my body to be taken seriously. I should be in a kitchen somewhere.
To the mother-I am a "dip-wad" who should have married for money, then I wouldn't be having these problems.
The brother-well, I'm still not over him threatening to kill me and my unborn child.
The friends- I'm tired of your stupid problems. Ouch.
Nothing can make you feel smaller then being told your problems (which are HUGE to you at the time) are too dumb to listen to anymore. I thought that's what friends did?
Listened to you go over the same stupid phone call over and over and over again? To listen to you rant and rave about your dick head parents doing the same shit they've always done? Friends invented the "smile and nod". You could have even faked concern. That's better than abandonment.
What happens years down the road when my daughter does something to piss me off? (cause it's going to happen...punk ass kid)
I don't feel comfortable bitching to someone who has already made it clear that my problems are not as important as theirs. Maybe when my chunk is in trouble, it still "won't be as bad as their kid'? I don't know. I don't know where to go from this.
Do I overlook your judgement?
Cause that's what this was, right? You thought me to be dumb for putting up with the crap I did?
Wait-you've never been worried about something that you later realized was no big deal?
You've never had a man in your life continue to disappoint you and yet you remained?
Or is it just me? Am I the only human here?
All you had to do was smile and nod. Smile. And. Nod. Add in a couple "Oh girl I know he IS an ass.." and we'd be golden. Instead-I feel judged.
Too sensitive?
I don't know where to go from here.
You see no light at the end of the tunnel. No end to your pain. No end to your tears.
Then one morning you get out of bed and you realize that you're not sad anymore. You're not hurting anymore. You're actually smiling a little.
You made it through to the other side and you ain't dead.
This year has been a pretty difficult year for me thus far.
Big changes. Small changes. New responsibilities. Huge lies. Privacy invasion. Promoted. Milestones with Chunk. Many pictures. Spy equipment. Major bullshit. Family vacation. Emotional abuse. Eye openers. Abandonment. And one bad stomach bug.
All of which I dealt with alone.
To the dad-I don't have enough testosterone in my body to be taken seriously. I should be in a kitchen somewhere.
To the mother-I am a "dip-wad" who should have married for money, then I wouldn't be having these problems.
The brother-well, I'm still not over him threatening to kill me and my unborn child.
The friends- I'm tired of your stupid problems. Ouch.
Nothing can make you feel smaller then being told your problems (which are HUGE to you at the time) are too dumb to listen to anymore. I thought that's what friends did?
Listened to you go over the same stupid phone call over and over and over again? To listen to you rant and rave about your dick head parents doing the same shit they've always done? Friends invented the "smile and nod". You could have even faked concern. That's better than abandonment.
What happens years down the road when my daughter does something to piss me off? (cause it's going to happen...punk ass kid)
I don't feel comfortable bitching to someone who has already made it clear that my problems are not as important as theirs. Maybe when my chunk is in trouble, it still "won't be as bad as their kid'? I don't know. I don't know where to go from this.
Do I overlook your judgement?
Cause that's what this was, right? You thought me to be dumb for putting up with the crap I did?
Wait-you've never been worried about something that you later realized was no big deal?
You've never had a man in your life continue to disappoint you and yet you remained?
Or is it just me? Am I the only human here?
All you had to do was smile and nod. Smile. And. Nod. Add in a couple "Oh girl I know he IS an ass.." and we'd be golden. Instead-I feel judged.
Too sensitive?
I don't know where to go from here.
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