I'm going to start food shaming moms.
But in the opposite direction.
You feed your kid a perfectly proportioned plate with nothing but healthy food at every meal?!
AND they eat all their vegetables? What-she only drinks water?
Bacon.
Mini waffles with honey.
Yogurt.
And grapes.
That's what was served up in this house. Sucka.
You ain't living right until you get your hand stuck in your own damn hair.
Chicken nuggets? Twice since Saturday.
Variety? Kid ate the exact same thing two nights in a row and sang to it.
I hope you feel shame now. Carrots, broccoli, and grilled chicken?
For.Shame. UGH.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fluff my clothes that are in the dryer for the 5th time. Oh, I can't forget about the dishes in the sink-they need to be drained of the "dirty water" and filled back up with soapy "clean water". Only 2 more times until they're considered clean.
lazy mom OUT.
*drops mic on stage
**by mic, I mean kid toy I just stepped on.
***by toy I stepped on, I mean the 3 million booby traps the kid sets everyday in what I'm convinced is a way to break my legs off at the knees.
But in the opposite direction.
You feed your kid a perfectly proportioned plate with nothing but healthy food at every meal?!
AND they eat all their vegetables? What-she only drinks water?
Bacon.
Mini waffles with honey.
Yogurt.
And grapes.
That's what was served up in this house. Sucka.
You ain't living right until you get your hand stuck in your own damn hair.
Chicken nuggets? Twice since Saturday.
Variety? Kid ate the exact same thing two nights in a row and sang to it.
I hope you feel shame now. Carrots, broccoli, and grilled chicken?
For.Shame. UGH.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fluff my clothes that are in the dryer for the 5th time. Oh, I can't forget about the dishes in the sink-they need to be drained of the "dirty water" and filled back up with soapy "clean water". Only 2 more times until they're considered clean.
lazy mom OUT.
*drops mic on stage
**by mic, I mean kid toy I just stepped on.
***by toy I stepped on, I mean the 3 million booby traps the kid sets everyday in what I'm convinced is a way to break my legs off at the knees.
Besides-I own this very special tablecloth that is full of vitamins and minerals and all the other good crap she needs.
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