An
open letter to parents who are alone on christmas
"You
may not have chosen this life—but this life chose you.
Tonight
as the tree twinkles in merriment with the expectant giggles and smiles that
will surround it tomorrow; I know a part of you is breaking inside.
There
is no other day that reminds a single parent just how single they are other
than Christmas Eve.
It’s
the practice of setting out Santa’s gifts alone, and filling stockings without
having someone to share that joy and wonderment with.
And
as you fill your stocking with the presents you bought and wrapped for
yourself, you realize that those things you need most can’t be bought and won’t
be found underneath the tree tomorrow morning.
The
thing is that it’s easy to lose ourselves in all that we don’t have on this
holiday. There won’t be someone there laughing with us as we set out Santa’s
cookies and milk, nor will there be a partner in crime as we spread the ashes
around the hearth so that it looks like the man in red made his big appearance.
There
won’t be kisses underneath the mistletoe or dancing around the Christmas tree—and most of all, after you
finish setting up Christmas morning, there won’t be anyone waiting to
snuggle under down comforters for a long winter’s nap.
But,
instead of sinking into all that is missing from this day—let’s instead focus on what we
do have.
Because
right now there are children who are sleeping safe in their beds knowing that
tomorrow morning you’re going to greet them with smiles and sweet kisses as you
wish them a Merry Christmas with open and loving arms.
And
while you may be single—you have to remember that
you’re
never truly alone.
You
may not have chosen this life as a single parent. Perhaps it happened by
accident, maybe it even occurred when you hoped after having a child you would
finally catch the heart of the person you loved, or maybe it was just that you
weren’t meant for the fairytale relationship.
Whatever
the reason, the divine power of the universe has guided you to this moment and
even though you may not believe in Santa Claus anymore—you have to have faith in
the greater plan for your life and your heart.
Right
now is exactly where you are supposed to be.
The
thing that we often don’t realize is that most times there is a reason why we
go through everything that we do, and while it’s tempting to often fill those
desires for company superficially, those experiences don’t really satisfy the
longing within.
You
desire someone who doesn’t just love you—but loves your children as well.
You
don’t want happily ever after, but a real forever.
Our
experiences prepare us for our destiny, and right now as you are reading this
before tucking yourself in, you have to know that something great is awaiting
you. Right now in this moment you are being prepared for welcoming the greatest
love your life will ever know, but more than that you have to remember that the
soul you’re seeking is seeking you too.
There
is a reason you are here in this moment. Until we can actually accept and love
the lives that we have, the love of a partner will continue to elude us. You
don’t just want good for your children, nor do you want someone who can’t see
how much your children shape the person that you are.
Because
there is a big difference in someone accepting your children versus being able
to love them as their own, and for you as you sit in the quiet of this silent
night you know deep inside that it’s the latter that you’re seeking.
You
know that not only are you deserving of amazing—but your children are as well.
So,
don’t settle for mediocre or easy when what you want is that which is
incredible.
Have
faith that the love you need is already on its way to you. Keep believing in
your heart that you haven’t steered off in the wrong direction or made a
mistake, because all along every choice that you made or that was made for you
has been directing you towards this very moment."
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