that, in a summary of sorts, is my "parenting" technique.
and I use the term "parenting" very lightly here.
It's just very strange to me-this whole "mom" thing.
Here I am, supposed to be this mature 'adult' who guides, nourishes, and supports another human being in hopes that something I do, can mold her into a good, decent person who contributes something good into this world instead of walking around being a huge asshat.
Who gave me all this authority and responsibility?? Who am I to say what an asshat consists of?
I giggle at the word nipple. I'm still afraid of the dark. I won't dare get close enough to a spider to spray it. And I cook my eggs in the damn microwave.
Nothing about that screams 'adult' to me. I seriously doubt anyone would ever watch my life and think to themselves "damn-that chick really has her shit together." No. Definitely not. I think a peek into my everyday- would produce a more..... confusing vibe. You know-- "Does she own a brush?" "She does know that those are guys clothes, right?" "How in the hell does she keep finding those Golden Girl marathons?" "Did that bitch just feed her kid a pop-tart for dinner? Again?" "Do you think anyone else knows she drinks the milk straight out of the jug?" "But she just bought it 2 days ago...how can that 5 lb block of cheese already be gone?!"
Needless to say-I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Not in my personal life. Not at work. And certainly not as a mom. I've kept her alive for a little over 3 years so far, so for that I'll give myself an A in the effort department. Unfortunately-that's as far as my skills reach. Other attempts I have made at trying to teach the kid to be a calm, kind, and thoughtful little person, have all ended with the same asshole toddler who thinks the word booty is HILARIOUS, boogers are appetizers, and 'old mcdonald's farm' is the only song ever written.
One of the contributing factors that I blame my asshole kid on....is being a single mom.
There is no one to help.With any of it-both good and bad. It is just me. All the time.
24/7. Improvising my parenting skills, or lack thereof. My skills are what I consider "casual".
Meaning I don't beat the kid, but I'm not a pushover. I don't coddle her, but I always make sure she's ok. I don't hover, but I don't ignore her. Although-if (and when) we arrive somewhere, and you speak to the kid and acknowledge her presence....congratulations, you just won yourself a kid for the entire time we are at said place. It just became your responsibility to make sure she doesn't mess shit up at [your house]. A temporary mom if you will. Sure, I'll intervene if she starts to be too much of an asshole, but she's usually too much of an asshole to listen to me anyway. Your house-your rules-your freaking kid. Go ahead temp mom. Oh...you've got other kids running around too? What is one more going to hurt then? Good luck on getting us to leave.
**ironic side-note** I don't like kids. Well,I don't like most kids. I like my friend's kids. No random kids though. They make me nervous. With all their random questions, and random germs, and random shortness. Nope-can't do it. UNLESS....it's a kid who likes kids. You know, the kid that entertains your kid so conversations with adults can take place. Those kids are welcomed. I love those types of kids. I need one of those. (bu just to rent, not to own)
How would I know if this is normal parent behavior or not? It's just me remember?
There's no husband to tell me I'm inappropriate. And all the mom friends I have are too busy to hang out, so there's no pointers on that end either.
There is no thumbs up on my skills..but there's also no thumbs down either. I take that as a go.
No news is good news right?
"What? No-I have no clue when she changed clothes, or whose clothes she has on now. Hopefully she didn't throw hers away. . If she starts getting on your nerves, I'll do my best at trying to convince her to settle down, but you should ask [insert name] over there, it's their house."
ugh. gross. I rambled.
I get on my own damn nerves.
If you break her, you buy her--because if you smelt it, you dealt it.
"I need to run to the store real quick..I'll be right back."
wink
and I use the term "parenting" very lightly here.
It's just very strange to me-this whole "mom" thing.
Here I am, supposed to be this mature 'adult' who guides, nourishes, and supports another human being in hopes that something I do, can mold her into a good, decent person who contributes something good into this world instead of walking around being a huge asshat.
Who gave me all this authority and responsibility?? Who am I to say what an asshat consists of?
I giggle at the word nipple. I'm still afraid of the dark. I won't dare get close enough to a spider to spray it. And I cook my eggs in the damn microwave.
Nothing about that screams 'adult' to me. I seriously doubt anyone would ever watch my life and think to themselves "damn-that chick really has her shit together." No. Definitely not. I think a peek into my everyday- would produce a more..... confusing vibe. You know-- "Does she own a brush?" "She does know that those are guys clothes, right?" "How in the hell does she keep finding those Golden Girl marathons?" "Did that bitch just feed her kid a pop-tart for dinner? Again?" "Do you think anyone else knows she drinks the milk straight out of the jug?" "But she just bought it 2 days ago...how can that 5 lb block of cheese already be gone?!"
Needless to say-I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Not in my personal life. Not at work. And certainly not as a mom. I've kept her alive for a little over 3 years so far, so for that I'll give myself an A in the effort department. Unfortunately-that's as far as my skills reach. Other attempts I have made at trying to teach the kid to be a calm, kind, and thoughtful little person, have all ended with the same asshole toddler who thinks the word booty is HILARIOUS, boogers are appetizers, and 'old mcdonald's farm' is the only song ever written.
One of the contributing factors that I blame my asshole kid on....is being a single mom.
There is no one to help.With any of it-both good and bad. It is just me. All the time.
24/7. Improvising my parenting skills, or lack thereof. My skills are what I consider "casual".
Meaning I don't beat the kid, but I'm not a pushover. I don't coddle her, but I always make sure she's ok. I don't hover, but I don't ignore her. Although-if (and when) we arrive somewhere, and you speak to the kid and acknowledge her presence....congratulations, you just won yourself a kid for the entire time we are at said place. It just became your responsibility to make sure she doesn't mess shit up at [your house]. A temporary mom if you will. Sure, I'll intervene if she starts to be too much of an asshole, but she's usually too much of an asshole to listen to me anyway. Your house-your rules-your freaking kid. Go ahead temp mom. Oh...you've got other kids running around too? What is one more going to hurt then? Good luck on getting us to leave.
**ironic side-note** I don't like kids. Well,I don't like most kids. I like my friend's kids. No random kids though. They make me nervous. With all their random questions, and random germs, and random shortness. Nope-can't do it. UNLESS....it's a kid who likes kids. You know, the kid that entertains your kid so conversations with adults can take place. Those kids are welcomed. I love those types of kids. I need one of those. (bu just to rent, not to own)
How would I know if this is normal parent behavior or not? It's just me remember?
There's no husband to tell me I'm inappropriate. And all the mom friends I have are too busy to hang out, so there's no pointers on that end either.
There is no thumbs up on my skills..but there's also no thumbs down either. I take that as a go.
No news is good news right?
"What? No-I have no clue when she changed clothes, or whose clothes she has on now. Hopefully she didn't throw hers away. . If she starts getting on your nerves, I'll do my best at trying to convince her to settle down, but you should ask [insert name] over there, it's their house."
ugh. gross. I rambled.
I get on my own damn nerves.
If you break her, you buy her--because if you smelt it, you dealt it.
"I need to run to the store real quick..I'll be right back."
wink
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